My aunt and I can go weeks without speaking. But when we do finally speak, I am prepared to leave the conversation better than I was. She doesn’t know how much healing she provides. The wisdom she imparts in the simplest of ways. My aunt is one of the most constant reminders of my vision for my life.
Our last conversation, we broached on the subject of the pressures of being raised in a strict household. One of the things we immediately identified was the lack of self awareness a child can develop if not allowed to make mistakes under the guidance of their parents. I noted because of my upbringing, while I didn’t veer too much off course, I certainly had made my share of mistakes. In making those mistakes, I discovered my limitations and boundaries.
Peer pressure doesn’t end when you finish school. You find yourself in compromising situations quite often in your adult life. The friend who frequently shops. The friend who smokes. The other friend who drinks. The friend who parties more than she works. The pressures are never ending and as an adult, you still may feel a sense of wanting to belong, ultimately making decisions that go against your values.
We both came to the conclusion,
I’m comfortable in my brokenness. I don’t need a new set.
Saying this out loud and living in this truth isn’t intended to imply that judgement is being passed towards the friends in our lives, but rather to recognize knowing our own vices and being ok with it. I personally do not need another distraction to pull me further away from my calling.
Edifying conversations are soul cleansing. They provide clarity where confusion once occupied. They provide solution where it was once a quagmire.
Admitting to yourself that you are broken also means understanding you will never be whole. Life is a continuous series of tests that will often knock us off our asses. I’m learning to channel this into productive behavior and patterns. It’s too easy to walk into destructive behaviors which pull you away from your goal. Dreams. Aspirations. It ultimately stunts your growth as a person.
Lately I’ve been faced with these questions:
What are you willing to give up to reach your goal(s)?
What do you need to walk away from to soar into your purpose?
What do you need to do to sustain the results?
These questions provoke thought and require a level of self evaluation that most of us do not do enough of. When you have vices or distractions, they literally can start to dictate and stop you from getting to the next level. Self discipline is one of the hardest things to master because life is always throwing a new set of obstacles to potentially stop you from accomplishing what you’re meant to do.
The closer you are to your purpose, the more resistance you will encounter. This sometimes will cause you to question, if this is all worth it. If you’re met with this much opposition, maybe you should give up. Your dreams will sometimes play a quixotic role in your life, but it is there to remind you, of that fearlessness you once possessed before life stole it from you. What seems foolish today can and will be your reality if you work hard enough towards it. I’m here to implore you to keep going. Your inner self has communicated with you to see this through. You have been given this specific dream to pursue not peruse. In pursuit of something means you show up everyday to work at the thing you want to see manifest. Sure, there are light days, but no days off. Similarly, parenting works the same way. I am constantly cognizant of the messages I am sending to my daughter. Constantly guiding her to be the best version of herself. Some days are harder. Does that mean I failed? No. It means we are both growing and discomfort is bound to happen.
We need to learn to be ok with the discomfort.
Take the time to understand, promotion only occurs when we’ve mastered the current level.
Take a moment to ask yourself those difficult questions you’ve been trying to avoid. What will it mean if you never see yourself to your fullest potential? What will it mean if you do? This is the difference between living on/in purpose and just existing. There are too many graveyards that house potentiality and never met reality.
Your time is now.
Get to work.
You’ll thank yourself for it.